Post-election trauma

At first I thought this must be a joke news report:

MIAMI (AFP) - Shocked supporters of defeated US presidential candidate John Kerry... are seeking help from psychologists, who refer to their condition as "post-election selection trauma."

The Boca Raton News reported Tuesday that Palm Beach, Florida trauma specialist Douglas Schooler alone has already treated 15 clients and friends with intense hypnotherapy since the Democratic candidate conceded on November 3.

"I had one friend tell me he's never been so depressed and angry in his life," Schooler said. "I observed patients threatening to leave the country or staring listlessly into space. They were emotionally paralyzed, shocked and devastated," he told the daily.

Yep, that's 'staring listlessly into space... emotionally paralyzed'. I take it they're not the same ones as are 'threatening to leave the country', which doesn't sound at all listless or paralyzed, though, to be honest, I also don't find it too threatening. Anyway, the report is no laughing matter. It's the goods, as may be confirmed here, in the Boca Raton News itself; where you will learn that, in the words of Rob Gordon, the Boca-based executive director of the American Health Association:

[W]e're working to develop a counseling program for it ['post-election selection trauma']... Luckily, it can be treated if people seek help. We're urging people to call us immediately if they feel depressed or know anyone who is seriously stressed out.

According to a spokeswoman for Emotions Anonymous, a 'recovery group' meeting tonight at Glades Presbyterian Church:

We'll let the Kerry voters talk about it and let off some steam, and by listening to other people's stories, we'll help them refocus and surrender to the things in their life which they can't possibly change...

Douglas Schooler again, describing the symptoms of post-election trauma:

They include feelings of extreme anger, despair, hopelessness, powerlessness, a failure to function behaviorally, a sense of disillusionment, of not wanting to vote anymore - that sort of thing. We're talking about a deep, unhealthy personal suffering that can best be remedied by intensive short-term therapy.

Not wanting to vote anymore - that's really gonna do the trick. I have a better remedy than intensive short-term therapy. Grow up. You know... pull yourselves together. (Hat tip: Dr. Sanity.)