Round about now, end of old year/beginning of new, we are bombarded with lists of what people have read and loved, and of what they're looking forward to reading in the coming year. Equally, New Year's resolution-lists are full of expressions of intent concerning what the resolver is determined to do. By way of a change from all this, I give below 12 books - one for each month of the year - that I will not be reading in 2012.
In January I won't be reading Frederic Jameson's Representing Capital. I read it last year, and once was enough. Believe me - don't try it. (This is so, incidentally, even if you think Capital itself is a great work - as I do.)
In February I won't be reading Tolkien's The Hobbit. I just don't fancy it. Never have.
In March I won't be reading 30 Ways to Improve Your Golf, as I don't read books about golf.
In April I will certainly not be reading another novel by Anita Brookner - therefore Visitors; I've read a few by her and find I don't get on with them.
In May I won't be reading anything by Jonathan Steele, because it would be by Jonathan Steele.
In June I won't be reading The Magus by John Fowles. I read more than half of it many years ago and then gave up. I'm not inclined to have another go.
In July I'll skip reading Makeup: The Ultimate Guide by Rae Morris. I don't wear makeup, I'm 68, and it's a bit late to change my ways.
In August I won't be reading Beginning Postmodernism. There was a time I might have had a look, but in August I definitely still won't feel like it.
In September I will not read The Spellbinding Power of Palmistry, since palmistry isn't something I'm likely to be able to find time for then.
In October I will not be reading The Collected Journalism of Seumas Milne, because... Oh, there's no such book, you say. That's why, then.
In November I won't be reading Herman Van Rompuy's book of haiku. I just won't.
In December I won't be reading Crimes against humanity: Birth of a concept, because that's by me.
[Based on an idea of Kieran Healy's.]
