Here's one of those people seeking advice, in the columns of a newspaper, from other readers:
My nephew and his fiancee have a baby son and I have been invited to attend the christening. But as a staunch atheist I find the whole idea of welcoming a baby into a religion repugnant; I would feel a hypocrite attending a ceremony that I disapprove of so strongly. On the other hand I really do not want to hurt the feelings of the parents... If I overcome my principles and go, there will then follow other invitations to other christenings – so wouldn't it be easier to make my feelings known once and for all? Or should I climb down off my principled perch and stop being so pompous? I just can't decide!
Well, I'd like to be of help, so here's my advice...
It's not so much pomposity that's your problem; it's the idea that you can live alongside others in a liberal society and not make any concession at all to their beliefs and practices. You don't expect everyone to think like you - or, at any rate, you shouldn't. So they'll have different ways, observe different rituals, and so on. In some of these it may be important to them to have friends or family present. Most crucially, there's nothing hypocritical about participating in something the underlying assumptions of which you do not share when your own reasons for participating are different - love, friendship, solidarity, etc. So, yes, climb down off your perch and be a mensch. You won't be the first atheist to have been in church for a wedding, in synagogue for a barmitzvah, gone to a religious funeral.
