A criminal act

Damn, I've lost the link for this. I'll put it up later when I find it:

A spokesloon for the Slowshalist Wonkler Fraction and several members of the Committee for the Preservation of Pilge Johnson, Roberta Finkit-frew, Buntly Magdalena, Agh Lords-Med and Rosie 'Courage' Jonquiline, have just issued the following statement:

"We the undersigned hold this truth to be self-evident: that the knighthood recently awarded to Salman Rushdie is the underlying root cause of the attempted terrorist attacks in London and Glasgow, which we deeeeplawww. Therefore we utterly condemn the entire literary and political establishment of the West - and Israel - for the blood that it has on its hands, and up its nose. The knighthood was a war crime, a crime against humanity and an act of imperialism, and it was dreadfully alienating as well."

Close textual analysis of the statement suggests that it was written by more than one hand, and possibly a foot.