Harry Hutton was born in Buckinghamshire, and grew up among the Thames Valley Rednecks. He has taught English in Italy, Brazil, the Gaza Strip, Venezuela, Colombia and Hong Kong, though he strongly dislikes teaching English. He has also taught economics and worked as a tour guide. He is not married - 'Not going to fall for that one' - and has no infants. He has not published any books or, indeed, achieved anything at all. Harry can be found at Chase me ladies, I'm in the cavalry, and Killer-Fact.com.
What has been your best blogging experience? And what has been your worst blogging experience? > Nothing good or bad ever happens. I click publish; a few people read it, six billion people ignore it, and the world keeps turning.
What would be your main blogging advice to a novice blogger? > Don't fill your blog with pictures of frickin' cats.
What are you reading at the moment? > Guns, Germs and Steel, by Jared Diamond. It's bloody long and boring. I just finished The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Who are your cultural heroes? > Perhaps it will be easier if I just tell you my favourite writer: George MacDonald Fraser.
What is the best novel you've ever read? > Lucky Jim, Money, Catch 22, the Evelyn Waugh comedies, Ulysses and the Flashman books.
What is your favourite poem? > 'The Golden Road to Samarkand' - 'Death has no repose / Warmer and deeper than the Orient sand'. It's tosh, really, but I like it.
What is your favourite movie? > Franco Zeffirelli's Romeo and Juliet.
What is your favourite song? > The fourth movement of Vaughan Williams' Sea Symphony, 'O, vast Rondure swimming in space...' (The poem is by Walt Whitman.) And 'Yes, Sir, I Can Boogie'.
Can you name a major moral, political or intellectual issue on which you've ever changed your mind? > I cannot. On all the moral, political and intellectual issues history has proved me right. When I was a teenager I used to say that I was a Maoist, but that was just to annoy my father.
What philosophical thesis do you think it most important to combat? > The phlogiston theory of fire.
Can you name a work of non-fiction which has had a major and lasting influence on how you think about the world? > The Kate Bush Story. A neglected masterpiece.
Who are your political heroes? > Jan Palach.
What is your favourite piece of political wisdom? > Burn down parliament and blame it on the socialists.
If you could effect one major policy change in the governing of your country, what would it be? > A crippling tax on football fans.
What would you do with the UN? >I don't know. It isn't really up to me.
What do you consider to be the main threat to the future peace and security of the world? > Killer bees.
In what circumstances would you be willing to lie? > To trick some gullible woman into thinking that I am an important businessman so as to get her back to my apartment for five minutes of clammy, loveless sex. With South American girls it is important that they think you have money, otherwise they won't let you anywhere near their action.
Do you have any prejudices you're willing to acknowledge? > I don't trust people who spend too much time hanging around in gyms, and I especially don't trust people who are obsessed with martial arts. And I don’t trust people with hermaphrodite first names. Lots of Americans have names like 'Paxton' and 'Gusset', where you can't tell if it's a man or a woman.
What is your favourite proverb? > 'If you're beautiful they throw rocks at you.' It's from an Italian song: 'If you're beautiful they throw rocks at you, if you're ugly they throw rocks at you. Wherever you go, whatever you do, rocks will be thrown at you.'
What commonly enjoyed activities do you regard as a waste of time? > Dancing. I mean, what's the point? What's in it for me?
If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything you'd do differently? > I would do everything exactly the same, only I wouldn't go to Scotland for a holiday.
What would you call your autobiography? > No More Mr Nice Guy. This has been my motto since I was seven.
Where would you most like to live (other than where you do)? > Brazil. What other country can compare to Brazil?
What do you like doing in your spare time? > Making prank phone calls. This is my one true talent. Some men write symphonies, other men win Nobel Prizes. Hutton annoyed people over the phone - that's what they'll say when I'm gone.
If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to? > Janglepants.
What talent would you most like to have? > I wish I could speak German; I wish I could play the piano; I wish I could bend spoons, using only the power of my mind.
Which English Premiership football team do you support and which baseball team? > In my more Jacobin moments I feel that football should be banned, at any rate in England. Baseball bores the tits off me.
If you could have one (more or less realistic) wish come true, what would you wish for? > That all the people and animals in the world could be happy.
How, if at all, would you change your life were you suddenly to win or inherit an enormously large sum of money? > I would buy an enormous ham.
What animal would you most like to be? > An octopus, of course.